我的藏獒开了我的花苞

The males who were seated now rise from the stumps and stare at me in shock baffled by the anguish and sorrow I reveal to them. Who did this? Why?

"No." I wail noisily as my moon blessed sprints towards me without hesitation his turbulent eyes on alert his teeth bared to the males in front of me staring at them in suspicion and they speedily bow their heads in submission. Our pack frantically assembles outside hearing my gut-wrenching screams of heartbreak rushing forward towards the gate desperate to see what is happening.

"What has happened?" Phobos questions browsing my body checking for injuries or for something that would explain the reason for my grief.

"M-Momo. They killed him." I weep pointing at the water-filled bucket where he was drowned on purpose tortured and killed. Phobos takes a prompt look inside and he audibly sighs as though my weeping makes no sense. As though my suffering makes no sense to him.

"Who drowned him?" He asks uncaringly. There is no anger in him no discomfort and absolutely not even a hint of...care.

"We did Alpha, that rotten little thing had been stealing our food for some time. We knew there must be a rodent so we set a trap and killed it."

"Your wolves killed him!" I shriek sobbing watching him bleary-eyed and the males grimace gaping at me like I am crazed for acting this way. Momo had been the only thing that kept me going after the truth of my infertility. Whatever love I possessed within me that I wanted to shower on another I gave him for I couldn\'t give it to my little beast instead.

"Get up, Theia." There is a sternness in his voice as he seizes my wrist and attempts to pull me up to my feet.

"Your wolves killed Momo," I complain peering up at him needing his sympathy and consolation but Phobos\'s gaze hardens as though he is warning me to stop this behaviour.

"They are your wolves too, Theia. Now stop this and get up." He mutters through his tightly sealed lips. Confusion strikes me at his indifferent attitude and strictness with me and my reaction to Momo\'s death as though he is...flustered.

"Y-You are embarrassed by me? You think this is how your Luna mustn\'t behave in front of your pack. Something I treasured with the fullness of my heart has been mercilessly killed and all you care is how I look as your moon blessed?" I screech at him and he unveils his teeth to me in warning. He will accept no open display of disrespect from me and if I do continue to do so my punishment will not be indoors this time.

"You are a Luna. I will not have you behaving this way." There is a surge in the sound of his voice as though he is criticising me and I gaze around at all the wolves who gawk at me like I have gone mad. This pack knows no love and it seems so does my male.

I swiftly get up from the ground striking his helping hand away from me and tenderly pick up the lifeless Momo from the frigid water. With one last hateful glance at the males who killed what belonged to me, I stride into my home ignoring the stares of my wolves.

Grievous sobs part my lips as I take a petite vacant box from the kitchen and put in it everything Momo loved eating. Small slices of cheese, nuts and dried fruits. I peer towards his cage and I weep louder, if only I had secured it at all times he would still be alive. I treated him as if he was my own.

When I gently lay him inside the box I remember the way he would seldom nuzzle into my palm and would snuggle up against my chest. He would even sleep on my belly sometimes such a tiny little thing he was. He gave me company when Phobos had left for the winter hunt and he gave me a reason to fight after the truth of my barrenness. But now I have lost the only thing that showed me what it would feel like to be a mother to care for something that only needs you.

I overhear the sound of the cabin door closing, his firm footsteps nearing but I coldly neglect his presence. Sealing the box with a wooden lid I march to the backdoor of the cottage and head to the small vegetable plot I have been tending to since last year. Kneeling upon the earth I begin to dig into the soil with my fingers amidst unrestrained cries, I truly cherished Momo. I swear it.

Phobos unobtrusively watches me as I drill into the soil like a maddened female he does not interrupt me allowing me to say my goodbyes this way. Once I find the hollow hole to be satisfactory I place Momo inside but the throbbing of my heart is intolerable. I clamp my soiled palms over my eyes allowing myself to mourn first, I can bury him later when I have more strength. Why must my life always be filled with such persistent pain?

Unable to behold the sight of my little squirrel dead I turn away from it and trudge back inside to the glow of the cabin. Before I could flee to my room Phobos stops me with a gentle grip on my elbow and whirls me around to face him. "Drah." He whispers a mellowness in his voice as his eyes study my red swelled eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

I brutally slap his hand away from my flesh the sound of it burning through my ears and shove him away from me. "I do not want you near me. Let me seek comfort from him."

His eyes broaden and he snarls with a shake of his head. "No, have me instead."

"I do not need you this moment. I need someone who cares. I want him." I yell as his beast mounts forward demanding control answering my desperate plea for he has sensed the pain of my heart when Phobos wouldn\'t. Golden rings absorb lucid blues and my male is charged with fierceness directed at me.

"Theia!" He bellows the racket of his wrath has the windows vibrate for he is disconcerted that I called his beast out and I wince at his outburst bawling harder. I sink to the floor my trembling fingers clinging onto the edge of my skirt for support.

"I want him." I whimper out again and my wolf sends forth the irrevocable push on my behalf. She seeks his beast out and yanks him from his barriers in a way even Phobos cannot protest or fight against. My beast subjugates him in front of my eyes and surges to the exterior responding to my call of despair.

My male collapses to the floor in front of me on his hands and knees and with infuriated eyes upset that I chose his beast over him he allows the one I crave this moment to take full control. Through my blurred sight, I witness his shift just like I had numerous times before. And when he arises and stretches his limbs and paws his glorious golden orbs fastened on my tear-filled eyes I smile shakily up at him in greeting.

He trots towards me and when he is close enough he squats down on his hind legs his tail tucked beneath his body and he indirectly gives me his permission. Permission to touch him, to seek solace that Phobos denied to give me. I tiredly crawl towards him and set my wet cheek against his furry chest that heaves under my touch the rhythms of his heart slow and soothing enough for me to quieten. This is all I needed.

"They killed my Momo. What more will my pack take from me? I couldn\'t carry your male so I gave all that love to Momo and I-" A cry breaks free and I snuggle into him grasping onto the silky fur of his chest needing strength to endure this loss. A deep-toned rumble reverberates within his thorax and I sense his muzzle nuzzling into my locks inhaling my scent, his way of reassuring me perhaps. My beast does not do anything else just continues to sit still his eyes glued to the front door of the cabin and he offers himself to me without another move or sound until my tears run dry and I have nothing left to share.

Drained out of my remaining energy I had succumbed to sleep in a tiny sniffling ball next to him my knees tucked to my chest his tail wrapped around my body I relished in the warmth and comfort he provided. It was not a pleasant sleep but it was enough for me to gather the rest of the energy I needed to support me for the remaining of the day.

"You are awake," Phobos speaks fondly glimpsing down at me with a warm smile as I dully blink up at him hauled out of my nap disapproving of our current position. I grapple to get away from his lap and he grunts sorely, wrestling me endeavouring to force me back to settle against him.

"No." I claw his mouth away from mine that works to suppress my irritation by kissing me. He tries to get a grip on my jaw so he can overpower me to take his tongue. He knows he can calm me this way.

"Theia stop it."

"Get away from me." When I show him that I will not back down he curls my legs around his waist and settles his palms underneath my bum. Picking me up with ease he trudges towards the cage that was once Momo\'s home. "Put me down. Let me go." I struggle against his chest but he does not mind me continuing on his path.

"Look inside."

"No."

"Then shall I let them go? They will starve to death or perhaps be killed by other predators." He declares his eyes holding mine as I scowl with confusion at his words. He points once more to the cage with his chin and I direct my inquisitive gaze towards it.

I gasp when I encounter two lovable baby squirrels sleeping in small crates packed with cotton balls that act as snug nests for them. "We have a lot of these in the wilderness and usually many of them are abandoned so I went hunting. Just like I had expected I found these two alone on a treetop in a broken nest so I brought them here knowing they would be lucky for you would give them a better life than most squirrels had." He laughs and I glare at him. His smile disappears and he clears his throat glancing back at them. "The male who killed your Momo. I have sliced away the fingers of his right hand that he used to kill your squirrel. He has been punished for he touched what belonged to you."

"He did not know Momo was mine."

"It does not matter. An eye for an eye. Now tell what will you name these two? Am I allowed to give my opinions? I have some admirable names in mind which I think you will like."

"I do not want them. They will be killed here. They are safer out there than on our lands."

"They will not be touched for they will be under my protection. So..."

"So what?" I ask peering into his eyes as he leans forward to affectionately kiss my lips with an apologetic yet understanding smile.

"So be their mother, Theia."