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“Oh dear. There’s no need to be so worried, Princess. She’s an extremely nice child.”

She quickly let go of the smiling expression she had been donning to console me, thinking I had been worried.

“I made sure she had nothing lacking to serve you.”

I smiled and nodded. Honestly, would it not be a waste for such a nice child to come serve me?

It was said that anyone involving themself in another’s life only to nurture them was only doing so as the recipient had nothing else to live for. I could do nothing for her so why would she be willing to serve by my side and place herself in such a misfortune?

‘And I can never return this favour.’

It was a shame. It felt as if I was riding on a car heading full speed off a cliff.

“No. It’s fine. Aventa, anyone you send me is a good person.”

“It’s an honour to hear that.”

She slowly lowered her gaze and let out a wry smile.

“If you are to find out that the child is not good enough for you, please feel free to let me know once you feel inconvenienced. I’ll make sure to…”

“No. There will be nothing lacking. I’m sure anyone you bring will be fine.Truly.”

I was being honest. I did not care if the child was not perfect. Moreover, after meeting her for a month, I was sure that the Duchess was a good person.

“To speak with you truthfully, there’s nothing much I can do for you.”

I was an Imperial who only had the Terena Palace under her name. I might have been an Imperial in name but in reality I was just an empty carriage making noise. I had nothing to offer her if she came here looking for power.

“The Princess is being quite honest with me. Then, I shall do the same.”

She looked at me tenderly before looking away again. Maybe I had reminded her of Auresia.

I was not curious what my birth mother was like or how she was related to the Duchess. Now that my life had been consumed by the need to survive and find out more about the diary, I was not even close to regretting the fact that I had never even seen her face before.

“Princess.”

“Yes.”

Pretending not to know how the lady was feeling, I let out an innocent smile. She looked like she was struggling to say something before just letting out a slightly sad smile.

“I don’t think I chose wrongly.”

She once again donned a noble smile after emptying her beautiful bejewelled eyes of emotions.

“I sincerely wish the best for you.”

The Duchess spoke calmly as she tucked my baby hair behind my ears.

“Of course.”

Of course. If she had no affection for me, I was willing to give up one of the three: Dane, Fleon or Lord Ray.

Obviously, their opinions were not important.

***

After Saturnus, work resumed again.

“It feels weird to wear a uniform.”

The dress looked like what those women depicted in greek statues would wear. I could see how practical it was for moving around. Seeing how its XXL size allowed the dress to reach my knees in length after fastening it around my waist with a belt, it felt much more comfortable than Walter’s clothing.

As I headed to the pick up point, Lord Ray was tending to the horses. Under the sunlight, his eyes shimmered darkly like unpolished sapphire. His navy hair stood out amongst the bright haired people of the Empire. He seemed to have just returned from whatever trip he went on with Dane.

“So you were still alive, Lord Ray?”

Even though he already knew I was here, I could still see him slowly open his eyes.

“It sounds like you wanted me to die.”

“How could I? I was just greeting you.”

I smiled softly at the floor.

“Lord, why are your shoes so dirty?”

“Oh, I must have dirtied them by accident.”

He glanced at his dirty shoes before sliding his feet back.

“Well, today I’ll do the Lord a favour and help polish your shoes.”

“Princess, do you know what it means to give another your handkerchief?”

“No?”

I stuck my hand out at him before tilting my head.

“Before heading off to war? Or after returning from war? Because you look like you just returned from fighting one, Lord.”

“Though there’s one more occasion.”

“When someone dies? Oh my, the Lord will not die that easily. I know so.”

Lord Ray let out a sigh.

“I appreciate how highly you think of me but in Walter, ladies only hand their handkerchiefs to the people they love, Princess.”

“But this is the Empire?”

“Well, I was just saying.”

Lord Ray opened the door of the carriage he was leaning against and began speaking strangely.

“Did you misunderstand me?”

“I did not know how to react when you did such a thing so suddenly.”

“I care about you, Lord.”

“Wow. If you really do care about me more than I think you do, that’ll be great”

Did he want me to believe his words when he was speaking so monotonously and with such an indifferent face? Smiling, I looked at the carriage.

“I was just kidding. You did not look like you had any trouble at all.”

Lord Ray slowly blinked his dark navy blue eyes. He stopped and stared at me slowly and it felt as if I had been enraptured by his gaze.

“Ah.”

He furrowed his stiff eyebrows. Then he rummaged around the pouch hanging on his waist before taking something out.

“What’s that?

“This morning, someone came from the Teret Palace.”

It was a pouch made out of expensive materials. The string had been made out of something like gold though I could not remember that clearly. As I scanned it further, I found some leaves embroidered in the corner. Eucalyptus leaves with rounded edges. It was a pattern common in Amor’s palace.

“Brother?”

“Yes. It’s from the 4th Prince.”

The Lord murmured quietly to himself about how he wondered how we had gotten so close. As I opened to see what was inside, I touched something hard.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a necklace.”

There was a ring hanging from the gold chain and the pendant looked like it had been carved into half. The pendant was the size of my thumbnail and it reminded me of a prism. Though it was hard on its surface, depending on how I shifted the pendant, the light reflecting off it ranged from a spectrum of blue-green colours. It was pretty. I brought it up to the sky so that I could see it clearly.

‘Why did Amor give me this?’

The necklace twinkled with the colour of a young sprout. He could have given this to me personally. I was fascinated and curious about why he had to give me this through someone else.

‘This came from someone who hated accessories.’

Thinking that this was not like him at all, I fiddled with the necklace for a long time. Then I heard something right in front of me.

“Are you?”

“You scared me. What are you doing shoving your face into mine?”

With his face right in front of mine, I retreated a step. Then, I looked at the necklace in my hand. I unknowingly touched my collarbone. That was when I realised that I had been wearing the necklace Lord Ray had given me this whole time.

“Which one are you going to put on?”

What? What was he talking about?

“You mean the necklace? Which one I was going to wear? Does that matter to you?”

“It doesn’t but… I mean, you’re so hung up on something that probably doesn’t even mean anything to you.”

I clasped onto the Lord Ray’s necklace.

“… You want it back?”

I recalled the day he had given this to me. But my memories had faded. I thought it had been lying around my room for a while. I thought that was what happened to it at the very least. My memories were not the most accurate since so many had died already. I pressed against my neck. When did I start wearing this? If I was not wrong, I had always been wearing it since I received it from Lord Ray. Rather than a gift, it felt more like an object to remind me of the countless repetitions I had to go through.

The sound of sword slices, the thuds as bodies collapsed on the floor and the memories of my suicide. In those memories, I had always worn this necklace.

‘Will I regret losing it?’

I was not familiar with regret after losing so much.

“You gave this to me.”

He shook his head as if to say that it was meaningless.

“I had only been curious so don’t mind me.”

His navy eyes that were hiding behind his back hair were trembling. His hair that was fluttering against the wind was dark as if it had been dipped into oil and yet indigo in the places shone by the sun.

While Hernan reminded me of a brilliant Renaissance painting, Lord Ray reminded me of an ink painting.

“… But must you talk to me with your face so close?”

Judging from this gaze as he looked at my hand, he seemed to be just trying to take a closer look at Amor’s necklace.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

Lord Ray’s scent was subtle yet stimulating and at the same time, unfamiliar. It was a nice scent but I wondered if it had been covered by another strong scent.

“That’s not it. Anyways, Lord, did you put perfume?”

Feeling uncomfortable, I took a few steps back.

“What? Ah, this was from the place I was in… I mean, it’s probably from the place I visited.”

The place he visited? I did not know where he went with Dane but he returned with a strong smell.

I stared at Lord Ray before shifting my gaze to the necklace Amor had gifted me.

I did not know what Lord Ray was thinking as he gifted me the necklace but I should cherish his sincerity.

It reminded me of a salary statement after the money used to pay for taxes had been deducted. Though easily overlooked, it was a considerate action. If this disappeared, I would feel as empty as if one of the bad guys chasing me were to disappear. This necklace had accompanied me in my nightmares.

“Then, let’s do this.”

Two was better than one, right?

I untied my hair. I removed the pendant from Amor’s necklace and hung it on the ribbon before tying it on my wrist. But it was difficult trying to tie this alone.

“… I’ll help.”

A big hand reached out to me and helped me tie it. I raised my hand with thanks.

“I don’t know what the Lord is thinking, but this works right?”

I gently shook Amor’s pendant that I had tied around my wrist. Honestly, the pendant did not match the black ribbon or my green clothes but so what.

His gaze seemed to be fixated on the ribbon. Well, was he dissatisfied? I felt sorry for him but I could not help it. I had to get the amazing templar, Amor, on my side as well.

“You’re not going to follow me again today, are you?”

He hugged me before lifting and placing me inside the carriage. He was so indifferent to me that there was no tenderness in his touch. He left a warmth akin to the end of fall. I thought the same could be said about Lord Ray’s eyes as well.

“I want to follow you but you won’t let me.”

His face was all I could see as he smiled faintly. I thought we had placed a distance between us but he narrowed it again. I raised my eyebrows disapprovingly.

“When did you start following my words so well?”

Lord Ray stared at me and spoke slowly.

“If it’s you, you should do whatever you want.”

My eyes fell on his trembling lips.

“Because I’ll give you whatever you want in return.”

As he stared at the departing carriage, he waved his hand. Leaving behind an insincere silhouette.